Thursday, April 1, 2010

Sin remordimientos

Recently, I've been a blogging fail. I think its because now, this is normal to me. Buenos Aires is normal. Not understanding everything I hear, read, eat or even say, is normal to me. The US es extraño, pero Buenos Aires? No. Buenos Aires is home.

In the past two weeks, lots of things have changed. I've begun making Argentine friends. I can now text from my phone. I have a puppy. Midterms just happened (and almost took mi vida). And spring break has begun. I leave for 5 days in Uruguay on Friday. Tonight was the last time for about 10 days that we would all be together and the thought of not seeing these people who I've gotten so close to for that length of time is crazy. Will I survive? I hope so. The chances of not surviving are pretty slim.

Most importantly though, I have come to terms with my language skills. I speak spanish. Now do I speak good spanish? Hell no. But I speak it. And can be understood. And can understand. Sometimes, even though its not perfect, it comes more naturally. I'm not affraid to have a conversation with a taxista any more or suck it up and ask people questions because I'm "the most advanced speaker" during the moment. It's crazy. And scary, but it's happening. Not being bound by language barriers is so incredibly freeing. You should really try it.

So, as Buenos Aires grasps a part of me that I will never get back, its also forcing me to deal with some issues of my own. All good. Sometimes difficult, but ultimately beneficial.

On an even more personal note, I'm beginning to realize what's really important and ultimately feel like I'm going to diverge from "the plan." I just feel like it doesn't represent who I am now, what I want now, and how I want to achieve that. I'm not totally disposing of the plan, just going to alert it... a lot. I have some ideas that I'm going to put into action and in reality, I don't care what anyone thinks. I love you guys and know that you have my best interest at heart, but this is my life, right? And its about time I stop thinking about what will look good or sound good, or what will please everyone. This is me time now and I am forging ahead, with no regrets.

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