Thursday, June 10, 2010

El fin

This feels like the end. Argentina and I had a good run. Though, I don't think the nation wanted me to leave, due to the hell I went through trying to get back to Michigan.... but I digress.

Four months went by so quickly. I feel like it was forever ago and also never ago. Did it really happen? Did I really go? And live? And learn? And speak spanish? The best, most challenging, most enjoyable, hardest, fun-est four months ever. I wouldn't change a second of it for anything. I did exactly what I wanted, pushed myself, and did not sell out. I consider it a sucess.

Was I ready for it to end? Never. I know myself and I know when I am done with something. I was not done. But life happens. Do I want to go back? Por supuesto. Will it happen? No sé. Tengo mucho para hacer.... mucho que quiero hacer y para hacerlo, no puedo estar en Buenos Aires... Pero no sé. Things change. Ideas, wants, life. Life changes. So, who knows? Maybe I will become an ex-pat afterall.

Being home is not completely miserable. I've had a few rough culture shock moments and am relatively grumpy/on edge. I'm hoping it will go away. But I've also spent time with one of my best friends EVER and her family. It's just nice to walk into her house, plop down on the couch, chat with the 'rents and brother, and just be. Be called "honey" and just be part of the family. Just the comfortablilty of it all. It just feels so normal and easy. Right now, it's comforting. Keeps me from getting overly emotional, but could it hold me over forever? Doubt it.

Today, I talked with Sam about what I want to do. I feel passion that I've never felt about ideas or possibilities. But none of that would lead me back to Argentina or Latin America in general, and that breaks my heart. So, it is really what I want? Quién sabe... ¿quién sabe?

It feels like the end. But it isn't. That much I do know. However, it is the end of this blog. : )

Gracias por todo- por su ayuda y amor y por leyendo. Buenos Aires- Te extraño querida y te quiero para siempre. Chau mi amor!! Te veo pronto!!

Thursday, June 3, 2010


My host mom just came into my room, asked if I had taken my last final yet, and then we did a happy dance while shrieking and screaming "I'm done!"/"You're done!" Am I done.

The next two days are going to be really sad ones. Tonight, I have to start packing. Last dinner with my host family.

Tomorrow- Final gift getting. A goodbye lunch or two. Mini- Despedida/birthday party for one of my favorites at our favorite bar. Staying out all night long.

Saturday- Final goodbyes to host family, friends, and Buenos Aires. 10 hours on a plane, and then I am home. It's so crazy to think that something so substantial can end in the blink of an eye. I get on a plane, and then POOF!! Chau Argentina, Hola los Estados Unidos. Within the next 10 days, my life is going to drastically change.

For some people, BsAs has satisfied their travel bug. They are ready to go back to New York or where ever, and be. Set down roots and live. But for me, it has made me question if I can ever truly enjoy "normal" life. I have always set out to challenge myself, so how am I going to fare being in a nation whose language I speak fluently? Where everyday is not testing my knowledge, my comprehension? How am I going to handle things being easy? My life has never been easy. Being here has changed so much. I seriously question if the EE.UU. is where I want to live my life. The more I think about it, the more apparent the answer is... How scary is growing up?